8 Comments

I am so sorry about the death of your Mom. She sounds like such a good Mom, and you were lucky to have each other.

I just taught a course this fall on Resilience in the Midst of Suffering and Adversity from a psychology perspective (I'm a psych professor). I am hoping to include religious and philosophical perspectives the next time I teach it, and I am going to include the three perspectives you noted here.

I myself am a Christian, and I think you missed something essential about Christian perspectives on suffering, which is the absolutely crazy idea that God understands our suffering intimately because he was incarnate as a human being and suffered as we do. And it was through Jesus' suffering, death, and resurrection that we have hope. The idea of God suffering as a fellow human seems radical to me.

I wish you all the best as you mourn your Mom.

Expand full comment

Nice to meet you, Rebecca. I became a Christian in 2021 the 1st time I almost died on the motorcycle (not the accident). Prayed for a miracle when I found myself going 110 mph into oncoming traffic in the mountains and got it. I always edit these articles in response to comments so I've added your thoughts.

I think that's spot on. A God/god who hadn't lived as human wouldn't subjectively understand suffering, frailty, and loss. And you see this most clearly in the gospels when the devil tempts Jesus with what He could gain if he abused his powers to avoid the limitations humans face.

Thanks for the add and the kind words. ❤️

Expand full comment

It’s odd clicking “like” for this essay, as if to trivialize your embrace of the most foundational challenges any human can face. So we work with what we have. Thank you for remembering and honoring the woman who raised and loved you. It really matters when people do that. I’m not sure why exactly but it does. Thank you. And condolences on the hard losses of this past year.

Expand full comment

Thank you. ❤️ It's all good - "Sometimes you bite the bear, and other times, well, other times the bear bites you." And I've had plenty of great days and I'm optimistic about the future.

There's a reason every human culture does it, and even some non-human animals seem to have similar behaviors. Probably because the price of having human intelligence is that we learn that we too someday shall pass, and that's pretty overwhelming, so that we come together at the end of someone's life to celebrate them and be there for each other.

Expand full comment

This is fantastic, thank you. As a classicist, I have an easy excuse for working a little Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus into every one of my courses. My students always thank me for it.

Finally, my deep condolences for your losses and travails this year.

Expand full comment

Thank you for the kind words. I wasn't quite sure about grieving in public, but it seems to have been the right decision. ❤️

The stoics are great, and I'm glad to see them making a comeback in popular culture. I was on some rightwing forum and I came across a meme that said something like, "I can't believe I've lived to see the day when the nerds just passively digest corporate products like Star Wars and Marvel movies and it's the jocks who are getting into reading the ancient philosophers and saying things like, "Man, that Aristotle was based!"

Expand full comment

I am sorry for the loss of your mom. She sounds remarkable & I'm glad she brought you into her home at 11. I'm also sorry for the other losses you've had this year. I pray you find a warm place to stay permanently soon. I did the couch-surf/car living thing briefly in my early 20s & it's not easy. Thank you for what you do for your "tribe". Kindness matters. Showing people that they are cared for, matters.

Expand full comment

Thank you. ❤️

It's interesting to see who people were at their funerals. The people who show up and the energy and everything. My mom's wake had 100 people, including lots of misfits like myself who she took in and loved and were there to pay their respects. She was an incredible person all throughout her life.

My housing situation is semi-stablish through May, and I should be solid after that. I'm housesitting for a professor next semester and my work has led to opportunities that are starting to produce income, so just a matter of a little grit and endurance between now and then. ❤️

Expand full comment